


The Things We Do in the Name of "Love"

by RedYoYo



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous Gender Morality | Patton Sanders, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Crying, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Bottoming, Forced Submission, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Lube, Mild torture, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Nausea, Other, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Preparation, Sex Toys, Sexual Coercion, Torture, Toxic Relationship, Underage Rape/Non-con, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Violence, toxic mindset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedYoYo/pseuds/RedYoYo
Summary: Patton wanted nothing more than to make Janus happy, to have a happy loving relationship with someone who treated him right. But he fucked up and needs to pay a price. Janus decides that price will be his sanity, but he's graceful - he's no monster. Patton doesn't agree with that sentiment for long as his world shatters.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	The Things We Do in the Name of "Love"

Patton was curled up on his bed. The safe space where he could run to and cry in without anyone to witness. Violated. Disgraced. And to top it all of, he was crying right now. His cheeks had never been more flooded. He had never been in so much pain. And there was someone there to see it all. Someone who caused it all.

A hand reached out to him to brush his hair with a fanged smile. A hand that belonged to no one that he’d like to be with at the moment. It was just that. A slimy appendage that made him feel dirty, it’s owner being but a smirk of a predator looking down at its prey.

How did he get here? How was he under the mercy of someone he trusted to always protect him? Someone he trusted and let into his bed many times before?

Patton choked on bile once his broken blue eyes caught the sight of the monster’s. How… Just how could this happen? Why did he let this happen?

His mind replayed the whole thing over and over in a vicious suffocating loop.

Janus. His beloved. He had been tense all week. Anything Patton did to cheer him on was dismissed and cast aside as an annoyance. The younger man felt inadequate, because of it. Not being able to cheer up his partner and ease his mind? Was he really only good for what he just went through? Used and abused like an unwanted plaything? His throat burned with vomit that threatened to come out, but he swallowed it back. He refused to appear weak, even though it was written painfully on his face, speckled with freckles and tears.

The breaking point came yesterday. All the tension burst in one violent display, like fireworks, but not as pretty to look at. Patton’s mind was hazy, he hated it and it made him want to cry more. He couldn’t remember what he did to upset Janus this much. What could he have possibly said to set him off so badly? So so terribly that they spent the entire night keeping each other awake. Janus tore into him with his sharp words and quick accusations, while Patton desperately tried to salvage what little he could. He couldn't bear the thought of Janus leaving him over something so trivial - just a slip of Patton’s tongue he'd regret in a moment's notice.

Last night they spent talking about what would happen today. How Patton would have to swallow any resistance and give in. Janus only implied what he’d do to him, Patton had some sick thoughts of what it might be and he was so horrified when they were proven true.

The morning after the preparations was dreadful. Patton barely slept and uncomfortably waited for the knock on his door that would spell the doom of his sanity and self-preservation. He knew Janus would want to break him sexually. What else could he want to do in person? He could break his will with his wit and words during their text the night before, but it seemed to bring him little joy. He never got physically abusive… well except that one time… but no Patton didn’t want to fear for his life. He desperately shook off those thoughts when he finally heard the patiently expected tapping of knuckles on wood.

When Patton let him into his house, when he set loose a demon into his safe haven, he regretted it. He so badly wanted to kick him out. Force him out. But he couldn’t do with his strength, he was much weaker, smaller and more fragile than Janus. He couldn’t fight him, not with words, not with fists. He couldn’t say anything either. Patton never went back on a promise and the stakes were too high to do so now. He’d submit himself or die alone.

Janus had stepped into Patton’s bedroom, filthied it with his presence, before Patton could even realize. The smaller man hurried after his partner and locked the door to his room. A habit he acquired from having sex, while still living with his parents. He hated himself for doing it, he couldn’t undo it now. He was stuck in this picturesque bedroom with a living nightmare. He couldn’t run. He couldn’t.

In that moment Janus threw a duffel bag onto the bed and began unzipping it. Patton anxiously sat at the locked door, expectantly waiting to see what Janus had brought along for this horrific ride. He was already holding back tears before Janus came. He sobbed loudly when he saw the older man pull out a large phallic shape from the bag.

This had alarmed Janus. He quickly snapped his head so Patton was directly in his line of sight. It caused the smaller man’s fear to grow more and more evident as he curled up against the locked door. 

He scowled at this as his hands continued to rummage through the bag. “Don’t take me for some monster… I brought you lube...” His voice was cold and his eyes were piercing as they did a quick shift to the bag, scanning its contents. Janus swiftly picked up the nearly empty bottle hidden in the depths of the duffel bag and threw it at his partner.

Patton flinched from fear of being hit by it, he fidgeted desperately trying to catch it, but it clumsily fell out of his hands and onto the floor in front of him. This received him an aggravated sigh from Janus. He really couldn’t do anything right.

The older man placed the pitch black dildo onto the bed, pulled the bag off of it and went up to Patton, who was shaking from all the sobs he was holding back. He watched through his blurring vision how his partner knelt down before him to pick up the bottle that would turn out to provide little comfort.

Janus stood up and his icy cold stare tore holes into his partner’s meek heart. He held the bottle to him and looked down at him expectantly. Patton shakily took hold of it, cringing internally at how slimy the plastic felt.

“I’m gonna give you a minute to prep yourself. If you’re not done by then I’ll prep you myself.” 

His orders could only make Patton nod violently. He unlocked the door behind him and dashed to the bathroom. He could hear his partner scoff as he retreated to a different safe space.

The bright lights in the bathroom did not light up his heart. Patton stared at his terrified expression like a deer in headlights. He choked slightly as he pressed his hands against his lips. He couldn’t break. Not now. Not before he went through this.

He turned the sink on, drowning out the hums of his love. He splashed his face, hoping the cold would calm him down. He then washed his hands as the next step would be unpleasant for him. He slipped out of his pyjama pants and boxers. He dried his hands on the fabric before discarding the clothes into the hamper. 

Turning to the little plastic bottle he brought with himself to this white room, Patton gently popped the lid and plopped some of the gel like substance on his finger, as if putting toothpaste on a brush. He leaned forward, propping one of his arms against the sink. He prodded his tight hole with the slick finger. Feeling it go in made him shiver. This was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. His thoughts were in utter disarray. He’s felt this before. Long before he met Janus. And it was wrong. Gross. Icky. Painful.

He couldn’t waste time, he had mere seconds to stretch himself as much as he could. However the gooey feeling was working against him. It still hurt badly. The way he felt his nail scrape his insides was so unpleasant it caused him physical pain. Somehow his insides felt like they were burning. He hated it, but if he was going to do what came ahead and wanted to preserve his sanity he had to bear through this.

While he sloppily reached for the bottle again and discovered its contents were finally empty, Janus had slipped out of the bedroom and opened the bathroom door without warning. Patton’s heart sunk. He felt completely cornered as he looked at Janus’ piercing eyes in the mirror. 

“Are you done yet?” Janus wasted no time in asking and Patton wasted even less time responding with a quick and firm nod. What’s done was done. There wasn’t any going back now. 

He followed his partner, the person who swore to protect him, into a room that no longer resembled a bedroom. Patton’s mind twisted it, this was not the innocent space it was before, where he’d cuddle his plushies and sing cheery songs. This was a torture chamber and this time Janus locked them in it, away from any sort of safety. 

“I saw you lock the door last time… so I’m doing this cause you did it first...”

Patton frowned at this, utterly defeated. He looked at his  ~~ bed  ~~ torture rack. He was frozen in place, some part of his body refused to let him go. He cursed it as Janus impatiently grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards it. His partner’s cold hands used to feel nice, but suddenly they morphed in Patton’s vision. This wasn’t the person he fell in love with. That Janus wouldn’t force him so harshly. This was a beast he submitted himself to and his claws dragged him to his resting place.

The young man’s thoughts desperately went back to more fond memories, hoping they would help distract him from the pain that seared up in his feet as the older man pushed him onto the bed and pressed his legs against the sideboards harshly.

He remembered. They’ve tried having Patton be bottom before. A lot of times, but they never got far. He absolutely refused to do it. It felt wrong. It felt disgusting. They only got as far as fingering him, but yet here they were now. Forcing him into a role he associated with deep rooted trauma. 

Fighting back tears, Patton slightly curled in, trying to resist the uncomfortable pose this predator was forcing him in. But there was no fighting it, he was pressed harshly onto his stomach and into what should’ve been velvet bedsheets, but instead of tickling him fondly the texture caused him severe distress.

The figure looming above him was silent. It reached for its weapon without as much as a whisper. It was silent. Everything in this dungeon was silent. Even Patton held his breath and refused to show how terrified he was of the large beast. He didn’t let his breathe hitch when he felt cold silicon at his rear. The moment was tense. Quiet. Suffocating.

And it all began more quickly than he could bear. The monster shoved it into him and Patton moaned in pain. He bit his lip, stifling his cries and only letting pained moans slip past. The pain was burning. He felt like he was torn apart at the seams and there was nothing that could comfort him. He was unable to scream to his partner to stop. He was unable to hold his hand for support. He was unable to look him in the eyes. 

He wouldn’t hear him. He wouldn’t hold him. He wouldn’t look at him fondly. He wasn’t Patton’s partner after all. Janus wouldn’t do this. This wasn’t Janus. This was a filthy icky demon in the form of Patton’s only love. And he was having his way with him.

His insides felt like they were burning. They sent jolts of pain all over the young man’s body, making him try to curl up further, but he’d only be pressed back down by the claws of the perpetrator. 

The beast didn’t move it much, maybe he was enjoying just seeing Patton desperately try to get comfy, while also fearing for when his sanity would ultimately break. Maybe he delighted in knowing how he had only placed the tip in and how he could easily make this much... much worse.

Patton’s tears ran in silent waterfalls. He buried his face into a rough unpleasant rock, what used to be a pillow. As he did he grew silent. He could bear through this, him and Janus have tried doing this before. He could take it. He had to.

Despite his hopes that he could survive this, his stomach turned and his whole body ached and shivered in anticipation. This nightmare would be all over soon and he wouldn't have to bear it ever again. The mere thought of this happening again made Patton choke slightly, which received him an amused hum from the monster behind him. He couldn’t adjust to the toy and the way his insides stretched as uncomfortable and painful. How foolish was he to think lube would make this experience any bit pleasant for him. His thoughts were going haywire and  nothing made sense anymore.

Patton didn't have to worry about his thoughts though.

Without any warning. Without as much as a peep from the predator, the dildo was forcefully shoved further in. Patton screamed and began weeping. One moment and suddenly all his will to be strong was whisked away and stolen from him. He arched his back and it only made him more painfully aware of the tears it caused, how it stretched his insides and ruined him. He couldn't think it could get worse. He cried loudly and dug his face into his palms. 

It was just a moment, but it lasted an eternity. Patton felt like he was screaming for so long his lungs should’ve collapsed. He felt how his bones rattled as his whole body shivered from the bloody pain. He shouldn’t have been able to hear the monster from the ringing in his ears, or his weeping, but he heard him murmur and speak up:

“I’m done with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've tagged this fic as "Ambiguous Gender Patton" and omitted his anatomy, for the sake of giving this fic a more generalized feeling. Whoever you are, dear reader, if your partner ever makes you do what Janus made Patton do, just for the sake of staying together, PLEASE, seek help, tell someone, get out of that relationship. I know it is most often difficult, but that person does not deserve you if they can justify such acts of cruelty.


End file.
